There is No Boy-Crisis
Why one Jewish woman is saying that boys and men dropping out of Jewish life is the "crisis that cried wolf."
By 614 Editorial Staff
In 2005, Rabbi Rona Shapiro, senior associate at Ma'yan: The Jewish Women's Project, wrote an article for The Forward called "The 'Boy Crisis' That Cried Wolf." In this article, Shapiro questions whether the drop in boys’ participation in Judaism is really "a crisis" of any sorts. "Ever galvanized by a good emergency," she claims, "the American Jewish community has been mobilizing in response to a recent spate of articles depicting a looming “boy crisis.” She goes on to say that while there are, in fact, statistics that show boys are "having a difficult time finding their place in certain areas of Jewish life,"our concerned talk about boys can quickly degenerate into sexist talk about girls and women."
The article, which can be read in full here, was quite controversial. Is there, in fact, a Jewish "boy-crisis" and, if there is, what we can do about it? It should be noted that we did learn in a recent Hadassah-Brandeis conference that statistics show lower levels of participation by Jewish teenage boys and dramatically lower levels of participation by adult Jewish men Below is an excerpt of her article, which we share with you because it poses an interesting question for women. Are women trying to take leadership away from men after being excluded for so long? Or are we trying to join forces with men? Do men want to participate if they are not in charge?
[I find] insidious the assertion made by some boy-crisis advocates that men are retreating from active engagement in Jewish life because women now dominate it. This characterization simply smacks of backlash.
Women have maintained their involvement in a Judaism dominated for centuries by men, but the minute women get a toehold in leadership, men pick up and leave? Pollack, the boys’ development researcher heading up Moving Traditions’ major new initiative, refutes the inherent sexism of this argument, insisting that women’s leadership is not responsible for boys’ retreat from Jewish life.
“Boys haven’t found a way to” adapt to the sharing of power with girls and women in Judaism, he argued, “because men haven’t found a way to change.” If Jewish men, young or old, are turned off by women’s leadership, then our commitment to justice requires that we call this what it is — sexism — and work to change the attitude instead of accommodating it.
Boys and girls alike suffer under the constructs of a patriarchal society, and from Judaism’s patriarchy, as well. The suffering looks different depending on gender. Girls will be denied opportunities for leadership and advancement and will be encouraged to cultivate their beauty and sexuality at the expense of their full selves; boys will learn to swallow their feelings, or act them out in ways that harm themselves and others, and pursue greater material success at the price of healthy relationships and a healthy inner life.
Men and women need to work together to address discrimination against women in the Jewish community, as well as men’s perception of Judaism’s irrelevance to them.
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