Audio Clip Transcript
And I was working like 60 hours a week, both jobs, you know, and, um, my checks were really high. And then through the recovery center, I got put into a job transition program. The job transition program, when you get out of those jobs, when you go through this training, they train you for a certain career field. But this program that I'm in, they told me, they will stop assisting me if I continue to work at both jobs, because they said I was above my income. So I quit the other job, and now I'm struggling again, trying to survive because my job at Amazon, it doesn't pay that much money. You know, 70% of my check on Amazon goes towards my rent. I work at a sorting facility. It's horrible, it's a manual labor job. And the only thing that they're looking for is numbers. I mean, the company is basically driven off of productivity and efficiency, the mindset, the relentless mindset, the relentless thirst for perfection, and for efficiency and to dominate. And they want you to come in there and just work until your fingers drop off. The jobs are demanding because you work, you work a 40 hour a week in a four day period. You do 10 hours, uh, every day, but you're really there for 12, and everything is timed and recorded. And they expect for you to, for your numbers to keep increasing, you supposed always get faster, or stay constant. If there's any drop in your production, they let you know. I clocked out two minutes late one day and I got a letter telling me that I need to watch my work hours. I was just like, wow, this is... it's deep. But I do it so that I get the benefits. You know, the dental, the vision, the healthcare because I have, uh, I go to the VA for health care also, but the VA is not, it's difficult to navigate and manage it, and the care is not quality. I had a really horrible experience in the military. I went to the psychiatrists, or therapists, whatever you want to call it, therapists and, um, nothing. I mean, nothing. Nobody even, nobody asked me how I was doing. Nobody asked me what I thought or what happened. Nothing. Nobody, but nobody really cared or was concerned about me. So I never got diagnosed or anything. I mean I have my issues, you know, like certain social issues, I guess. Mentally, I'm still regaining my mental strength and aptitude, and so there are certain situations that I get put into that I can't handle or can't process quick enough, and, uh, you know, I'm trying to manage that a lot better. And you know, life is hard. You know, that right when you think you have it figured out, it only takes one little thing. Just one little thing to mess it all up.
Five years, out five years, I would like to be a prominent member of my family again, have their respect, you know, be able to socialize and keep up to date and know everything that's going on and all in their life. Um, I don't know, maybe, in 10 years I just want to still be living, you know? Not get shot by some cop, you know? Or some kid who's trying to get a rep. That's pretty much the goal, you know, is just family and peace.