Lasting Brandeis Connections Born in the 90s
By Stacey Ebert ’96
Well-worn, comfortable, and still taking pride of place in my closet, with their tiny white inscription on the front left hip, these wide-leg favorites warm both body and heart. Just shy of my 1996 graduation, I stocked up on all things Brandeis to take with me on my journey beyond 02453. My friend and fellow alumna Farrah and I treated ourselves to new sweatpants. The catch: we swore we wouldn’t wear them til we were ‘older,...like 30’.
First steps
Like those special sweatpants, relationships that began in Waltham are still with me today. Forged with classmates, roommates, fellow club members, or mutual friends, Brandeis was the reason these people crossed my path. Over those four years, some things shifted, friends moved, chose different majors, and made new connections. And, after graduation, everyone took off in different directions. But, our shared Brandeis experiences were only the beginning of the story.
When I first set foot on campus nearly thirty years ago, the world was a little different. The Chinese food delivery man showed up at dorm rooms late at night; the Boston Celtics practiced in the gym; and the Internet wasn’t even a thing. We began our journey with corded phones affixed to the wall, boomboxes in most rooms, heavy textbooks in our backpacks, and our closets stuffed with Usdan Bookstore finds. Today, while students experience their own version of Brandeis, I imagine that the RABB steps are still icy and slippery in a New England winter, the Mods still hold senior appeal, social justice remains at the forefront, and the campus brims with life once shorts season starts in…late spring?
From student to alum
I met Farrah in a humanities class. Naomi and I became fast friends at the blood drive where I was volunteering, and she was donating. Lauren and I bonded moments into Orientation. Jessica and I connected through extracurriculars, and these are just to name a few. My shared experience with the 700 members of the Class of 96 will be forever ingrained in my memory. Together we hopped the Commuter Rail into Boston to experience rock and roll sushi, ate our hearts out at Bagel Depot, explored Waltham, and emptied out the library on Thursday nights as "Friends" debuted on television. We navigated the Clinton years, witnessed Mandela’s presidential arrival, watched the OJ Verdict, rallied in Copley at Yitzak Rabin’s Memorial, and saw the birth of Amazon.com. Our university years were full of optimism, social justice, fun and frivolity, volunteerism, learning, growing, and sadly, the senseless deaths of too many of our beloved classmates. Whether we shared mere minutes or years, our Brandeis connections hold a weight unlike any other.
While social media has many downsides, one of its benefits is keeping people connected. We may not be in the same geographic space or on similar journeys, but with comments, likes, shares, and other small interactions, we remain present in each other’s worlds. Over the past few years, my Brandeis friends have reached out for comfort amid chaos in numerous ways. Whether it was checking in on an old friend, supporting someone going through struggles, or hopping on a Zoom meet-up to laugh and finish each other’s memories, it was our Brandeis connection that sparked these enduring relationships.
Growth after graduation
In the years since graduation, some Brandeis friendships, like those sweatpants, were not part of my everyday. Regardless of how often I saw those friends though, there was a comfort in knowing they were always there.
Brandeisians have been a constant in my life. A few were at my wedding fifteen years ago. There have been meetups in San Diego, Nashville road trips, zoo dates in London, a hug in Portland, endless NYC outings, and countless visits to Boston’s own JP Licks, among other adventures. While our twenties and thirties presented opportunities for travel, career development, growing families of all kinds, and finding our feet, our forties have offered a chance for reflection and rediscovery, alongside the challenges of raising children while caring for aging parents. But, that messy middle is often where the magic happens and connections of yesteryear reappear.
Rekindled sparks
Like many, I no longer live in the same place in which I grew up. So, when my Dad suddenly passed away a few years ago, I hastily made my way from San Diego, California back to Long Island, New York. Within days, Brandeisians I hadn’t spoken to in ages showed up online and in person. They schlepped to the funeral, held my hand, and remembered. Some of these friends were very present in those Waltham years, and although life has taken us in different directions - they showed up because that’s what Brandeis people do.
In recent years, these connections have once again re-emerged. Our 25th reunion was virtual and faces of my youth burst onto my screen. I shared US road trip tips with Dena, with whom I backpacked across Europe after Brandeis. My graduation seatmate, Alexis, and I connected over new passion pursuits. Naomi and I chatted about everything Australian as her youngest embarked on a semester abroad. And, a couple of summers ago, my husband and I drove thirteen hours in twenty-four just to wander the beach with Farrah and her family for a short while. So many people who were a part of my Brandeis past, are now a mainstay of my present, offering giggles, support, friendship, networking opportunities, and more.
Continuing connections
Since that first day on campus, we’ve all experienced a lot of life, yet we still feel a tug at our heartstrings when Waltham comes to mind. Now at midlife, we’re wiser, more well-traveled, and guiding the next generation. We’ve well surpassed what we classified as “old” at graduation. In the time since Madeline Albright’s commencement speech, those friendships have weathered life’s ups and downs, wiped tears, shared laughter, shown up when called upon, and warmed the heart with every message.
These days, our 30th reunion is only a couple of years away. Many classmates’ kids have grown and flown - off on their journeys at university and beyond. And, like my now-faded sweatpants, these Brandeis friendships endure - still comfortable and cherished.
