Managing Holiday Stress
by HAWP staff
Holidays can be wonderful opportunities to take a break, connect with loved ones, and revisit special traditions. They can also be extremely stressful!
Whether you're traveling or hosting, you may feel pressure to have a "picture perfect" holiday experience. A number of factors can cause stress or trigger anxiety, such as complicated family dynamics, a focus on food and eating, politics, shopping and financial strain, and pressure to socialize. Those who will not be gathering with loved ones for the holidays may experience loneliness and isolation. On top of that, there's Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) to deal with!
It's perfectly normal to experience holiday-related stress. Here are some tips for managing holiday stress.
- Try to keep up your daily wellness habits. While it's great to make some changes on special days (e.g. eating holiday foods, lounging in pajamas all day, staying up late, sleeping in), do your best to stick to your regular wellness habits on other days (e.g. eat as you normally would, stick to your regular sleep schedule, move your body) to support your physical and mental health.
- Stick to a budget. There can be a lot of pressure to spend money on holidays, whether it's for new outfits, gifts, food, or big sales. Think about how much you are comfortable spending, and which things are most important for you to spend on. A little advance planning can go a long way in maintaining your financial wellness.
- Set realistic goals and plan your time. What do you want to get out of your holiday experience, and how do you want to spend your time? Would you rather spend time with family, see your friends, rest and relax, play games, shop, get outdoors, or catch up on homework? You may not be able to squeeze everything in, so prioritize. Share your goals with your friends and family so they can manage their expectations about spending time together. You can also ask them about their goals for the holiday, and work towards a compromise if they differ.
- Plan your strategy for difficult political conversations. One of the more difficult parts of visiting home can be connecting with friends or relatives who do not share your political views. Before going home, come up with a plan for handling tough conversations. What are your goals? For example, do you want to have a longer conversation about the topic, or avoid it? Do you want to understand their point of view, or try to change their point of view? Would you rather have a big group discussion, or talk to someone one on one? When tense conversations arise, try your best to stay calm. Think about how much more time you will be spending with this person, and what will be best for your own well-being. It's okay to choose to engage, and it's also okay to choose not to engage. Do what is best for you.
- Try to be a compassionate guest or a compassionate host. Remember that the holidays are stressful for everyone, including your guests or your hosts. They may not always be functioning at their highest selves. Remember that their actions may have more to do with their own stress than with you. Is there anything you can do to make sharing a space easier on them?
- Maintain your boundaries. Sometimes you may need to set limits with friends or relatives who repeatedly upset you, make you uncomfortable, or cross a line. It is okay to let someone know that if they cannot respect your boundaries you will not be able to spend time with them. It can be tough and/or scary to do this, but you have a right to be treated respectfully and a right to be safe.
- Practice self-care. Check in with yourself periodically. Are you holding tension in your body? Are you breathing deeply? Are you feeling hungry, tired, lonely, or angry? Take some time to practice your favorite coping strategy. Get outside, do some deep breathing or a mindfulness exercise, take a walk, listen to music, have a snack, take a hot shower, or give yourself some quiet alone time. It's important to take breaks for self-care during stressful times.
- Connect with your support squad. Who are the people in your life who support you, who love you, and who make you feel good about yourself? This may be your family or origin, or your family by choice. Find time to connect with them. If you ever begin to doubt how great you are, they will help you get back on track.
- Seek professional help if needed. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), 64% of people with mental illness report holidays make their conditions worse. You may wish to talk to a counselor before the holiday to discuss and strategize for potential challenges. Call the Brandeis Counseling Center (BCC) at 781-736-3730 for assistance and support.