Email Rules of Engagement
People overestimate both their ability to convey their intended tone — be it sarcastic, serious or funny — when they send an email, as well as their ability to correctly interpret the tone of messages others send to them.
In the late 1960’s, Dr. Albert Mehrabian conducted a study to determine how we communicate. He concluded we respond to communication most by the tone and language, not words.
- 7% words, 38% tone, 55% body language
- — Dr. Moravian, 1967, Stanford
To make things more complicated, a 2005 study at the University of Chicago, and published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, claims that nearly 44% of email messages are misunderstood. Those same messages conveyed by phone had a 75% success rate. While time and volume surely has only added to the complexity, recent estimates note that 70% of emails are misunderstood. Another study on communication in the 50s, noted that we only retain 10% of what we read.
In most of the studies, the sender overestimates the clarity of their message. They are often surprised when the recipient receives the message with a different impact and intention. That misinterpretation is what usually leads to a flurry of counter emails that leave everyone asking — what does this mean? Add to that the sheer volume of emails we all get each day, and it is a wonder any emails are understood at all.
Based on my conflict resolution work I believe that four emails equal a single phone call; eight emails equal one face-to-face discussion. It is pretty clear that email takes far too long to solve problems, and frequently causes more problems because of the misunderstanding that can occur. The problem is most people depend on email as their primary source of communication, thereby unknowingly thwarting their ability to effectively communicate.
This constant business communication challenge leads to suggesting people consider some Email Guiding Principles:
- Remember two facts: 44% of emails are misunderstood and 93% of communication is non-verbal.
- Email is OK for facts or exchange of information, but completely ineffective for meaningful discussions or disagreements.
- Use “reply all” — when you agree and applaud in public
- Do NOT use “reply all” — when you disagree with a person and feel tempted to point that out to everyone. Voice your own concerns in a private face-to-face meeting with person whom you are disagreeing, and off-line. See Rules #1 and #2.
- Avoid using emails to "Change the Conversation" (i.e., “Let's change the goals of the strategic plan retreat”). What ensues is a blizzard of emails written very early in the a.m. or late in the p.m. and the result is Rule #1 or Rule #2. Change the conversation exchange of ideas is best reserved for phone or in person dialogue. Otherwise, we revert back to Rules #1 and #2.
- Remember emails are one dimensional. We can't see the facial expressions or tone of voice to see the intent. Thus intent and impact are different. See Rule# 1.
- Before sending, read your email out loud to yourself and pause before you hit “send.” If your intention is to debate, blame, disagree or engage in semantics, hit “delete,” pick up the phone and schedule a time to meet face-to-face if at all possible.