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How To Help A Friend

What can I do?

These situations can be complicated. Know that you do not have to have all the answers or handle a situation alone. There are plenty of resources and trained professionals on campus.

Ultimately, to address a substance abuse problem, it is the student’s choice to help him or herself.  Once that decision is made, show your support.

If the person is open to receiving help, you can refer them to the Alcohol and Drug Counselor in the Health Center for a free confidential assessment or to the Psychological Counseling Center (PCC).

If you know a student who exhibits any of the signs of substance abuse, you can help by doing the following:

• Address the substance use issue if the student is open and willing.
• Talk to student when she/he is sober.
• Choose a private place.
• Plan what you will say and have resources available.
• Let the person know that you care about them.  "We've been friends a long time and I care about you. This isn't easy to talk about..."
• Avoid labeling the student. " You've been blacking out — I think you're an alcoholic".
• Avoid judging. "You've got a big problem and everyone is mad at you."
• Try to stay objective and list your observations of changes in behavior related to use (low grades, arguments, legal).  "I've noticed you don't go to class anymore."
• Talk to student in a group format, if one or more persons express concerned.
• Expect denial.  Accepting that you’ve developed a dependency on a substance can be humiliating and shameful.  So do what you can to reassure his or her dignity.  Dependency is only one obstacle to overcome and there are many great things that make this person a valuable human being.
• If the person denies behavior that is negatively affecting you, set limits. "You drove my car high a number of times, you an no longer borrow my car."
• Offer resources.  If they are hesitant, offer to accompany them to see the counselor or help them to enlist a friend to go with them.
• If the person's behavior is negatively affecting you (verbal/physical/emotional), seek professional help for yourself (talk with your CA, CDC, a professional counselor or other community member).
• If the student was willing to get help, consider maintaining contact with them and checking in periodically.